Finding Light After Loss: How I Overcame Grief Through Purpose and Family
Finding Light After Loss: How I Overcame Grief Through Purpose and Family
The day my sister, Raji Guterres, passed away was the day my world shifted in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Though she will always remain Raji Prasad in my heart, her death left an unfillable void—a sense of loss so profound that it pulled me back into a depressive state I hadn’t faced in years. Raji wasn’t just my sister; she was a guide, a friend, and someone whose wisdom and warmth touched everyone she knew. Losing her was like losing a part of myself.
The Descent Into Grief
In the months following Raji’s passing, grief consumed me. Simple tasks felt insurmountable, and the weight of her absence was suffocating. She had always been a pillar in my life—a source of strength and stability. Without her, I felt untethered. Memories of our shared childhood, her laughter during family lunches, and the way she guided her two boys with love and grace haunted me.
Depression crept in quietly at first, manifesting as a numbness that soon turned into overwhelming sadness. I felt paralysed by the thought that Raji would never see the milestones in my life or her nephews grow into the incredible people she was raising them to be.
Finding Purpose in Work
As the grief grew heavier, I realised that I needed to channel my pain somewhere. For me, that place was work. Throwing myself into my career became a way to cope—a distraction from the loss and a reminder that I could still contribute something meaningful to the world.
Work offered me structure and focus when everything else felt chaotic. It gave me a sense of purpose, a way to ground myself amidst the emotional turbulence. Slowly, the routine of meeting clients, planning strategies, and achieving milestones became a way to climb out of the dark hole I had found myself in.
A Wedding to Plan
In the midst of my grief, life continued to move forward. Planning a wedding, though daunting at first, became another avenue to focus my energy. It was a bittersweet experience—I wished Raji could have been there to share in the joy and guide me through the process. But I knew she would want me to find happiness, to celebrate life despite the pain of her absence.
The wedding wasn’t just a celebration of love; it was a reminder that life, even in the face of loss, has moments of beauty and connection. It became a symbol of hope, a way to honour Raji’s memory by embracing the love and values she held dear.
A New Chapter: Becoming a Parent
Perhaps the most transformative part of my healing journey came with the birth of my daughter. Naming her Lilah was a way to start anew while carrying forward the love and lessons I had learned from Raji. Watching her grow has been a profound reminder of life’s resilience.
As I raise Lilah, I often think about Raji and the values she instilled in her two boys—kindness, empathy, and strength. These are the same lessons I strive to teach Lilah every day. Through her, I see a chance to continue Raji’s legacy, to honour her memory by raising a child who embodies the love and wisdom she brought to the world.
Moving Forward with Raji’s Spirit
Grief doesn’t disappear; it evolves. I still miss Raji every day, and there are moments when the pain feels as fresh as it did when I first lost her. But I’ve learned to carry her with me in everything I do. Her laughter echoes in family gatherings, her wisdom guides me in difficult decisions, and her love shapes how I approach fatherhood.
By throwing myself into work, celebrating life through my wedding, and embracing the joy of parenthood, I’ve found ways to move forward while keeping Raji’s memory alive. Her influence remains a constant, reminding me to live with purpose, love deeply, and cherish the people who matter most.
