The Unspoken Regrets: Losing a Father in Adulthood
The loss of a father is one of life’s most profound heartbreaks, no matter what age it happens. When it occurs in adulthood, the grief takes on a different shape—one that intertwines the pain of loss with the weight of unspoken regrets and missed opportunities. Losing my father, Dr. Umanand Prasad, in a motor vehicle accident was a devastating event that changed the course of my life. It wasn’t just the abruptness of his passing that hurt; it was the realisation of everything I hadn’t said, hadn’t done, and hadn’t appreciated enough until it was too late.
A Father’s Legacy
My father, Dr. Umanand Prasad, was a man of immense achievement—a respected doctor, a successful entrepreneur, and the guiding light of our family. He was more than just a father; he was a role model, a provider, and a constant source of wisdom.
Yet, as is often the case with father-son relationships, I didn’t fully appreciate the depth of his influence while he was alive. Like many sons, I took for granted the sacrifices he made and the quiet strength he carried. When he passed away so suddenly, it felt like the foundation of my world had been ripped away, leaving me to grapple not just with his absence but with the realisation of how much I still owed him in words, time, and gratitude.
The Regrets That Follow Loss
Losing my father brought an avalanche of regrets, a feeling that I had let time slip through my fingers without cherishing what mattered most.
Unspoken Words: There were countless things I never said to my father. I never thanked him enough for the life he built for our family, for the values he instilled in me, and for the quiet way he always had my back. I wish I had told him more often how proud I was to be his son.
Missed Moments: Life has a way of distracting us. Between work, responsibilities, and my own family, I didn’t make enough time to just sit with my father, listen to his stories, and soak in his presence. I regret not making more of an effort to bridge the gap that adulthood often creates between parent and child.
Assumed Eternity: There’s an unspoken assumption that parents will always be there, especially when they seem larger than life, as my father did. His sudden death shattered that illusion and reminded me how fleeting time truly is.
The Shock of Sudden Loss
The nature of my father’s death—a motor vehicle accident—added another layer of pain to my grief. It was so sudden, so final. There was no warning, no chance to say goodbye, no preparation for a world without him.
The abruptness left me reeling, not just with grief but with the sense of things left undone. I didn’t get to ask him the questions I always meant to, like how he managed to balance his demanding career with being a father, or what advice he’d give me as I navigate my own life challenges.
A Son’s Journey Through Grief
Grieving my father has been a journey of reflection, growth, and learning. While the regrets are heavy, they have also taught me lessons that I now try to carry forward.
Honouring His Legacy: My father was a man of integrity and dedication. In his absence, I strive to live by the values he upheld. Whether it’s in my work, my relationships, or my approach to life, I want to make him proud, even if he’s no longer here to see it.
Appreciating Loved Ones: Losing my father has made me more conscious of the relationships I still have. I make an effort to tell my family I love them, to spend time with them, and to truly be present.
Finding Closure in Reflection: While I didn’t get to say goodbye to my father, I find solace in remembering the moments we did share. The lessons he taught me, the values he instilled, and the memories we created are now my most treasured possessions.
The Duality of Regret and Gratitude
While the regrets of losing my father remain, they coexist with a deep sense of gratitude. Gratitude for the years I had with him, for the love he gave, and for the person he helped me become. In his absence, I’ve come to understand just how profound his impact was, and I try to carry his legacy forward in everything I do.
A Lesson for Others
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from losing my father, it’s this: don’t wait. Don’t wait to tell your parents how much they mean to you, to ask them about their lives, or to make time for them. Life is unpredictable, and the moments we take for granted can vanish in an instant.
While I can’t change the past, I can honour my father’s memory by living with intention, cherishing my family, and ensuring that his legacy lives on through my actions.
